The Evil Cow Part One: Chapter One
Once upon a time there was a cow. He was a nice cow until the Happy Cow food days. In the morning, his owner would feed him water and oats. The cow was very happy with his breakfast of oats and water, until one day, he was looking through the window at the TV when a commercial came on for cow food. It said: "Happy Cows eat Happy Cow food by the Happy Cow Food company. Get Happy all you cows, eat Happy Cow's Happy Cow food". The cow then decided that he wouldn't be a happy cow unless he could have Happy Cow food.
Early the next morning, the cow's owner brought him the same old breakfast of oats and water. But the cow didn't want oats and water. He wanted Happy Cow's Happy Cow food. So the happy cow kicked over the water and oats.
"Why'd ya do that you stupid cow!?" yelled the cow's owner.
Since cows cant talk, the cow simply kicked the cow owners leg off, bit off his head, and tore off his owner's left arm (with his teeth). Then the cow broke down the fence and ran off to Chicago.
As soon as the cow got to Chicago, He decided that he would need to make some money so he could buy happy cow food.